ONYINYE’S CHOICE – PART 4

Photo by Wadi Lissa on Unsplash

Her severance pay would settle some of her liabilities and other expenses. Whatever remained would be added to the retirement benefits due to her [and a good sum it was from long years of service], and these she would use to start up her own business. There was no question about which business it would be. Of course! It was the one she had locked up in the residence of dreams for a job which simply paid the bills and sustained a survival, but gladly saved a great sum for retirement in the country’s 2014 pension reform act (one of the few good policies in the country that the political leaders had not usurped for their incessant self-serving goal).

She had had reasons to push her dream aside. For the umpteenth time, she persuaded herself, they were because of: the un-enabling environment of epileptic power supply and other comatose principal and economic infrastructure lacking maintenance and technological improvement to be at per with the developed countries; and the political instability and economic uncertainty caused by the corrupt and insincere tendencies of the country’s leaders, and all of which affect the socio-economy. She had thought too of the bills and liabilities that had increased with having a job. Otherwise, she would have acted on her intention to only work for a while and then delved into self-employment and built an empire. That empire, she chuckled in remembrance. But, she knew she was weakly justified by these set of excuses she continuously made to console herself of her underachievement.

This is because she was aware of people who had seized even the bad economic state to thrive in self-employment. Now, unemployed, there was no reason to shield herself in the cover of the excuses. She had to face and take the bull by the horn, and wherever and however the animal threw her, she would not let go until it gave in to her. She would not fail; she could not afford to; not with the spring of excitement welling up within her at the thought of beginning her dream work, which was not only a business but also served as a vocation for her good, that of the larger society and for God’s greater glory. And it conformed with God’s will for mankind on earth, and as works in tandem with her prayers for the world and its inhabitants. She would not be doing it for vengeance, but for her happiness and self-actualizthon. She had to put the past behind her: the hurt, her errors and her fears.

Eyes wide opened with tearful joy, her spirit suddenly sprang up like a fountain, sitting her up. She thought of the many things she could accomplish with her natural talents and gifts and how they would make the world a better place, as well as how hallowed they would make the ‘Father’s name’ in the world He made with the Word and the Spirit. And the best thing was the freedom she now had to do these. She turned again to the sacred and immaculate hearts and thought she saw glints of smiles in their eyes like they were both now pleased with her. ‘You like that, don’t you?’ She told the Mother and Son, all smiles.

With her whole being bubbling now, and her back no longer hungry for the support of the bed, she got out of it, went for her office bag on a desk and scrambled out a jotter and a pen, putting aside on the desk the mobile phone that came her way inside the bag [she knew it had not stopped vibrating every now and then in the bag since she arrived home from work]. She pulled out and sat on the chair married to the desk and began to write a business plan. With much excitement she lit the desk lamp and spent three hours writing the plan, forgetting the headache that was there a moment before and had dissipated because of the joy that replaced her anger. Also replaced were the ego, blames, fears and regrets that formally diminished her spirit to seek the low causes of the dark underworld. Now, she could only see the future possibilities and this beautiful opportunity to work and walk into them. For what she had thought was a misfortune now looked like God’s way of pulling her out of her comfort zone to the great fortune of becoming a better version of herself: the purpose for which she was made, in which her spirit had for long sought but she had stubbornly suppressed, and the only thing that would give her purpose and indescribable ethereal JOY!

Her future was in her hand, and for such big picture she saw ahead, her hand felt quite light as she scribbled into the night, every step, her mission, vision, budget, personnel and other requirements. Done and satisfied, she took the book and walked up to her bed, knelt down to face the picture of the Sacred and Immaculate hearts of Jesus and Mary, proffering the note before them. ‘Here Lord, I believe it is as Your Spirit led but imperfect due to my human defects. Lead every step and every person to be involved, my Lord and God, in Your perfection and will. I ask this through Your holy name – Jesus Christ. And pray for me, dear Mother of God. Amen.’ She said and made the sign of cross with inward enthusiasm that her face could hardly hide. She lay back in bed and placed the note on the desk drawer beside her bed.

Her inner pleasure would not let her sleep immediately. And she continued thinking, ‘I will respond to the calls tomorrow and rest my colleagues’ minds that all is well. I will no longer think of the past events of my life as a waste so that they do not weigh me down anymore. I am thankful to God that I worked in my former employment with good conscience in spite of everything because all good come from Him and not by my might. I will not think of anyone as an enemy because God is using all for my good; little wonder He asks that we pray for our enemies. And from now on, I shall work with my God into His eternity. So, help me God. Amen.’

Concludes in Part 5…
Written by IfeanyiChukwudi Oluwafemi Chukwudi

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